2014 NFL Draft: Quarterback

This has to be the deepest quarterback class I’ve ever scouted. Literally ten players deep that can not only be starters at the next level but potentially be studs, it’s unheard of in my drunken memory.

Blake Bortles*-QB-Central Florida-6’5”-232-Top 10-95
He’s the absolute prototype number 1 QB. Big dude who moves well and has a rocket attached to his right shoulder. He took UCF to a BCS bowl game, Culpepper didn’t do that. He obviously has all the physical tools but his best asset is his toughness. He took some hits that would’ve made Rocky Balboa wince and got up. At times he plays like a linebacker, probably because he was recruited to be one, just like Jim Kelly. Good company to be in. Jim Kelly’s got a gold jacket (green jacket who gives a shit) and I think Bortles could get there too. He’s in that Andrew Luck, Ben Roethlisraper mold. Needs to show more above the shoulders play though.

Teddy Bridgewater*-QB-Louisville-6’2”-214-1st-2nd Round-88

Everybody’s number 1 coming into draft season, but he’ been systematically downgraded through the process. His release is too low and he doesn’t have that much zip on the ball. He brought Louisville to national prominence, something Brian Brohm failed to do before him. When I watch him play I see a little Joe Montana. Obviously that’s a stretch comparison, especially because Bridgewater hasn’t won anything, but I think they have similar pocket presence and delivery. Physically he can be a great quarterback but as always it depends on what kind of guy he is and the situation he lands in. Similar value to Andy Dalton.

A.J. McCarron-QB-Alabama-6’3”-220-Day 2-88

We’ve all seen him play a fuckload of times. People will say he’s a game manager, and he does just enough to win, but the fact of the matter is he does everything you need. He hands off when you have a stud in the backfield (Mark Ingram, Trent Richardson), throws it downfield when you have a freak on the outside (Julio Jones), bangs a supermodel (You know), and almost always wins. Sounds a lot like Tom Brady. Obviously predicting a quarterback is hard but he has all the physical tools to translate at the next level. I worry that he had too much success in college and might have lost the fire, but you could’ve said the same for Peyton. At the end of the day I think he’s the best value at QB and belongs firmly in the second round if not earlier, and as an Auburn fan I hate his fucking guts.

Derek Carr-QB-Fresno State-6’2”-214-1st Round-85

He should’ve changed his name once his brother flopped in Houston, and not went to the same school dipshit, just inviting the comparisons. Will people stop saying David Carr was an enormous draft flop please, he was the first pick of an expansion team with a high school wrestling team for an offensive line, no wonder he set the record for sacks in a year. Kid moves well, can sling it, and put up major numbers in college including throwing for more than 5000 yards and 50 TD’s last fall. He’s got what it takes physically but you worry about the competition he faced in the Mountain West. Similar value to Zac Dysert from 2013, but Carr was more prolific in college and more polished as a QB.

Johnny Manziel**-QB-Texas A&M-6’0”-207-1st Round-83

Had to be the most entertaining college football player since Reggie Bush. For that reason alone he’s gonna make some owner rich as a motha fucka. As far as football goes he’s a loose cannon, incredibly inventive and spontaneous. People will draw comparisons to Brett Favre or Russell Wilson, I’m seeing more of Rick Mirer and Heath Shuler. There are a couple things to take into account with Johnny Manziel. First, he’s a rich kid with a rebellious attitude, not exactly the guy that’s gonna inspire a bunch of millionaires to come to optional offseason practices. Second, he played behind some of the best offensive lines in college football the last two years (Luke Joeckel, Jake Mathews etc.). If you watched his games he seemed to sit in the pocket for 5 seconds, escape a minor rush, and sit in the pocket for 5 more seconds before throwing it up to Mike Evans in triple coverage or a wide open receiver as a result of a busted coverage. He doesn’t have an NFL arm, nor top notch accuracy, but god damn can he run for a pigeon-toed white boy (4.68 40). At the end of the day, you’re drafting a jersey selling back-up caliber QB who’s going to get arrested outside a strip club, mark it down.

Aaron Murray-QB-Georgia-6’1”-207-Day 3-78

Seems like a goober but he had some gutty performances at Georgia. This past year the stars aligned for them to have the most difficult September that I can remember, seemingly playing a top 15 team every week with half of their starters injured, and Andy Murray conducted a few impressive wins. He’s short and doesn’t have the strongest arm but Russell Wilson proved that’s not insurmountable. He’s a typical west coast offense quarterback, solid accuracy, clutch play, mobility as needed, I would love to see him back up Alex Smith for a few years and work with Andy Reid in KC. All he needs are some three step drops and lifts in his cleats.

Tajh Boyd-QB-Clemson-6’1”-220-Day 3-76

Real solid athlete. Looks like he’s taller than he is. He can really sling it and move too. You worry about his accuracy and wonder how his offense wasn’t unstoppable with Sammy Watkins and DeAndre Hopkins. Basically he’s Cam Newton minus 4 inches and a national championship, and on draft day that’s worth about 100 picks.

Zach Mettenberger-QB-LSU-6’5”-224-Day 2-75

Georgia recruit who got caught behind Andy Murray and transferred out. He’s the consummate oaf with a cannon. Would like to see better pocket mobility, and for that reason I think he’s gonna be a back up at the next level. He had big wins and big losses at LSU. People might compare him to Ryan Mallett, which is why I think he’ll go in the 3rd, but I think Mallett had better accuracy and pocket escapability. Mettenberger is gonna hold a clipboard for millions of dollars a year.

*Underclassman